The Muted Bravado of a SMG

I think about the complications

I can't get to sleep. Cue Colin Hay's Overkill.

Late night is the best time for thinking.. I find my thoughts run clearer, smoother. Less inhibition under the cover of darkness. (I'm talking about mental blocks la. Although actually come to think of it I don't know how some ppl can be intimate in painfully bright light. Doesn't it kill your mood? Nevermind.)

Y'know, I find when you're trying to think, the best thing to listen to is soft acoustic rock. Like Dashboard Confessionals. Not too upbeat to annoy you, not too slow to drag you down. Pleasantly generic.

(Okay la I know my taste in music is not very cool and pretty passe. Whatever la huh.)

You should never listen to something really good when you're trying to think, study, or do anything productive. You'll just get distracted and start following the song, tapping out a beat, singing along or something.

No particular reason for this link. Just thought it was interesting.

EH! JM! Ben just told me you ride a pink Vespa! With a World War I fighter-pilot Sky Captain type helmet complete with massive goggles. Thats damn gay! I'm gonna take loadsa photos of you on your poofmobile man, then show your kids when they grow up and embarass them. Haha.

Well. Anyway, I can't sleep.

Probably something to do with the fact that I napped from 6-8pm. Was tired la, cos slept last night and woke early (for me) this morning.

Been thinking a lot though, about a whole load of crap. Like working out the numbers on a car purchase and how its going to burden me when I saddle the loan (answer = a lot). Or worrying about parental, and general, mortality (too scary to think about for long).

Okay its too late at night to think about depressing stuff. I'm liable to start drowning my sorrows in my extensive (as well as extensively untouched) liquor collection. Confession: I do sneak shots from time to time when I'm feeling low. I hope this doesn't mean I'm becoming an alcholic.

Hmm. My name is Junda. Well actually "Jun Da", with the space. But anyway. Apparently, Junda has some sort of African heritage. And it also means "Young" in ancient Goth (is that a language?). And its the name of a Lithuanian/Latvian war goddess. And its also the Japanese translated name of the last disciple of Buddha. Well well well. Isn't etymology interesting?

When people blog, they write (obviously) about vastly different subjects. I read quite a number of blogs today. I'm always pretty impressed by people who can blog lengthy passionate diatribes about current events that I personally don't really give a rat's ass about. For example, the recent A*star/acidsomething conflict. You know, that scholar dude. Maybe his blognick is acidpuke or acidreflux or something, I don't know what. Inconsequential anyway.

Point is, so many blogs (including many people I know) had entries about the length of my entire blog, or possibly the Constitution of Singapore (I assume we have one), about that conflict. And many of them weren't even scholars, let alone affiliated to A*star. I'm not talking about a few short paragraphs, here. I'm talking EMOTIONAL writing complete with LOTS OF CAPS and pseudo-freudian analyses of Philip Yeo and acidchicken. Granted, many of them were incoherent and basically encompassed the viewpoints of FUCK YOU or FUCK BOTH OF YOU or FUCK THE WORLD over and over again. But the point is, these people really CARE.

I don't deny that I found the whole thing pretty interesting, amusing even. But enough to want to write a novella on it? I'd rather pluck my eyebrows la.

I wonder what its like to feel so passionately about something that doesn't affect you. I mean, its not like supporting a sports team or idolising a musician. Its like politics, man. Its all muddy as hell to me.

Maybe I'm just thick or shallow or something, but I just don't get it.

I suspect the people I'm talking about, if they ever come across my blog (which I doubt, considering I refuse to be linked to), would consider apathetic buggers like me to be the death of society. Well, I honestly do admire the fact that you're taking such a strong stand, and like Voltaire, I'll defend your right to take it.

I just personally don't give a shit la. So I find reading those blogs painfully boring. I'd rather derive vicarious pleasure (or even Schadenfreude heh) from reading blogs of people with more interesting lives than mine (read: nearly anyone). Especially blogs of pretty girls who post loads of pictures. Haha I sound like a chikopek.

Well, whatever la. All guys are pervs, anyway.

P.S. Hmm this post was totally not the post I intended to write. Initially I was planning to write about why people blog (e.g. to entertain themselves, to gain exposure, or to generate envy haha), but as usual I got carried away and started rambling. Oh well. Speaking of rambling. Does it annoy anyone else that China is called China? Or that the race is called Chinese? If I ruled the world I'd rename China to, I dunno, Maozedongland or something. Then, I'd consolidate all the predominantly caucasian countries into one country and call it Caucasia. Lets see how they like it then.

P.P.S. Rambling led me to think of travelling. And I just came back from Macau, China. Hence I started thinking about China. Just in case you were wondering about my thought process la.

P.P.P.S. By the way I'm not putting down China, or anything like that. I'm just irritated at the double meaning, y'know. The same thing goes for Indian Indians, Korean Koreans, Japanese Japanese, any race which can also be a nationality. I just find it annoying la. For that matter, whats caucasian anyway? Are Nordics, Mediterranians and Alpines all considered caucasian? Aiyah I realise this is all just a messy, touchy, controversial issue la. I just wish that nationality and race could remain seperate. I mean, nationality matters la but I don't really think race does.

posted by Đirestraits @ 2:08 am