The Spotless Mind
Just watched "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind".. Yes, I know its quite late but I'm not really a movie buff, at least not before my operation. Anyway, was quite moved by the story. It did get me thinking though.. Are any memories actually deserving of being erased?
I'm not talking about traumatic memories, such as witnessing murder, or being beaten as a child, or worse being raped. As far as I'm concerned the perpetrators themselves should be erased from the face of the earth. And I know there are humiliating memories I have that make me cringe everytime I recall them (damn I'm cringing now, its the "don't think of a white polar bear" syndrome) that I'd love to not remember for the damage to my ego they've caused.
But, love! Romance! Could any relationship really be so bad that you would want to not merely pretend, but actually know that it never happened? Extenuating circumstances such as the extra-marital nature of Dr Howard and Mary's relationship aside. In a relationship where the only factors are the two parties involved. After the relationship fails, do you really want to forget?
Any serious relationship which you've invested your love, time, patience, soul in, it moulds you, changes you. With the memories erased, do you revert to the original person? Possibly, I guess, considering to you, it never happened. But any relationship that became serious, but failed in the end.. It'd still teach you something, teach you to be a better partner.. "Maybe I should've done this, maybe I shouldn't have done that." Know what I mean?
Sometimes relationships fail not because of action (or inaction) or either party, but merely because the personalities don't match. Avoiding, trying to forget what happened just shows weakness, timidity. Facing up to your loss, your so-called failure makes you a stronger person when you move on.
And in any relationship which is serious, there was a connection. And there has to be happy memories. Beautiful memories, to be cherished. Memories to look back on when you're old, like little charms hanging off your life's bracelet, of love lost but not forgotten.
Lord knows I've had my fair share of unpleasant relationship memories, even at the young age I admit I still am. Memories that cut to these day, of people that I don't ever want to meet on the street for the pain. But there were happy times, there always are, and I still treasure them. Even as I remember the way things are now, even as I remember the way they are now, I can remember the way things are then, and the way they were then.
And I'm happier, though simultaneously sadder for that.
A poignant emotion. I told you I liked that word.
"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd"
From "Eloisa to Abelard", by Alexander Pope
Ahh.. I've forgotten how beautiful poetry can be. Sweet dreams to all lovers.. but well, aren't we all?
posted by Đirestraits @ 11:40 pm
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