The Muted Bravado of a SMG

Ya call a plumba?

I just spent the last half an hour replacing the faulty bathtub/showerhead faucet-contraption-thingy in my parents bathroom.

You know, that thing wtih the water regulating lever, push it to the left and cold water comes out, push it to the right hot water comes out, push it up and more water comes out.. Push the little knob down and the bathtub fills up, pull the little knob up and get soaked by the shower cos you're standing in the bathtub.. Yea, that thing.

Anyway. That faucet-contraption-blah in my parent's room has been leaking for ages. They've tried to live with it, keeping a pail underneath it to gather the dripping water which can then be used for watering the garden, washing the clothes, bathing the pet dog etc. (They still remember water rationing days back in the.. uhh. 60s? 70s? long time ago la.)

Recently though, our next door neighbours had a plumber over to replace a water pipe. My kaypoh mom, watching the proceedings from my house, latched on to the plumber as he was leaving and asked him to give us a quote for stopping that leak in her bathroom.

So the plumber says:

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

No, seriously, he says:

"Aiyoh, this one, big job. $110 dollars. Very cheap oredi. Must replace whole thing."

My ever economical-minded dad suggested that he'll buy the faucet-contraption-pooky for the plumber and the plumber will just charge us the worksmanship fees.

Of course, the plumber says, no, these faucet-contraption-doodas come in lots of shapes and sizes, you'll buy the wrong one, i need to find the specific one for you, all that glitters is not gold yadda yadda yadda.

So my dad goes okay, thanks, i'll call you back.

So the next day we buy one of those faucet-contraption-goonybirds from our friendly neighbourhood hardware store. (Hardware store owner: "Orh you want that faucet-contraption-fongsaiyok isit? Donch worry la, all same size one! If different size then everyone dunno how to buy then how to repair?")

Price: $50, including some other tools hardware and tape needed for the job.

Time taken for me to figure out how to remove the old faucet-contraption-ladida from the wall: 5 mins

Time taken to install the new faucet-contraption-dingdongbell: 10 mins

Time taken to remove the new faucet-contraption-heyhosilver because i forgot to tape up the joints with white sticky tape: 5 mins

Time taken to tape up the joints of the new faucet-contraption-franklyscarlettidontgiveadarn and reinstall it: 10 mins

So there. $60 saved for half an hours work. Sure, maybe I didn't do it as quickly, professionally or neatly as a real plumber would. But I did it, didn't I?

Big job my arse.

This was the very first time I ever did something remotely close to plumbing, so don't go thinking that I have experience or something.

A family friend once had a plumber come and fix a leak in his latrine.

The plumber told him it was a difficult job and will cost $240, and family friend, thinking the problem was quite serious, agreed.

So the plumber took out his wrench, knock knock here, tap tap there, tighten this, loosen that, and lo and behold job done in 2 minutes flat.

Of course, family friend refused to pay the exorbitant price (which works out to $7200 an hour) for such an evidently simple job.

So the plumber simply sat down where he was and began cursing family friend's father mother grandfather grandmother uncle auntie cousin cousin-once-removed cousin-twice-removed and pet dog.

Plumber-from-hell finally left after family friend gave him $150 and told him he was calling the cops.

I'm sure everyone has or has heard personal anecdotes like that. So, beware! Don't get cheated!

Honest workmen nowadays are a dying breed.



P.S. Yes, I've replaced most of the pictures on my site with thumbnails, out of courtesy for the non-broadband users out there. Besides now I can also give a bit of credit to ImageShack, who hosts all these pics free. Long live ImageShack!

posted by Đirestraits @ 1:54 pm